Keep an eye out this season for …
Adlene Guedioura. The Algerian International is the complete midfielder and has the potential to be the best player outside the Premiership this season. It is rumoured that he can behead an otter from 30 yards, using either foot.

Terrace favourite … Chris Cohen. End of Story. He is the personification of everything that is still great about football and a beacon of hope amid a game riddled with greed and self-indulgence.

Player you’d happily drive to another club… As much as I’ve willed with every sinew for him to be the next Stuart Pearce, it has to be hapless left-back Dan Harding. I’ve never seen a player, when anywhere near the ball, so accurately resemble a rabbit in the headlights.

What advice would you give your manager? King Billy is an excellent motivator, who knows what a team needs to succeed in the Championship. But our manager has a divisive and inflammatory alter-ego – known amongst Forest fans as ‘Big Bad Billy’ – and this must not be allowed to surface. Success will only come if the happy equilibrium is maintained.

Best away fans in your division (not your own)… Definitely Wigan Athletic – they’re twelve of the nicest people I’ve ever met.

Best away ground to visit in your division…Huish Park (Yeovil Town). I prefer an away ground that looks like an elaborate child’s den, as opposed to an architectural marvel. Yeovil’s ground has real old-fashioned character and allows fans to sing ‘my garden shed is bigger than this’ without feeling overly boastful.

Opposition player in your division you despise…It has to be Conor Sammon because, in line with their continued dishevelment, he’s the only D**** County player who I know the name of. Besides, his name implies that he spends his free time tricking fresh water fish … and that is not how a gentleman ought to behave.

Opposition player in your division you secretly admire… It’s probably the worst kept secret since Howard Webb’s combover but most Forest fans have unyielding admiration for Leicester City’s Wes Morgan. Those who bleed red blood would love nothing more than to prise the colossal centre half away from the King Prawn stadium, back to where he belongs. You’ll never beat Wes Morgan!

One change you’d make at your club… This is not specific to Forest but I would overhaul the wage structure. Last time I checked, we were spending over 100% of all income on players’ salaries alone. This can’t carry on indefinitely.

One tip you’d give away fans visiting your team… Get there early and go to the Bridgford Restaurant and Fish Bar on Radcliffe Road. You can eat in or takeaway. If God were a football league enthusiast, this is where He’d eat before the game.

Where will you finish this season, and why do you think that? I think we’ll be top six this year, providing we get some pace, width and a new centre-half before the window closes. Billy is a fantastic manager and we already have several match-winners within our squad.

Do you think Billy Davies will learn from his last stint at Forest? I’m not sure he has all that much to learn. We had two and a half great years under his stewardship and, providing he and the chairman remain bosom buddies, I think this could be our year!

Do Eric Lichaj and Gonzalo Jara on free transfers represent good business? Absolutely! Full backs are so important in modern football and the left-back position has been a problem for years. Jara has already proven what an effective Championship player he can be and my Villa supporting comrades tell me that Lichaj is the best footballer to come out of America since Sylvester Stallone took on the Nazis.